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Fear and shadows

Never fear shadows. They simply mean there’s a light shining somewhere.
– Ruth E. Renkel

Self-Interview: What’s your deepest fear? What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? How would you live if you won the lottery and didn’t need to earn a living for the rest of your life? Why aren’t you living closer to that right now?

Oh, that’s easy. Fear and success. Build a wellness center where many types of alternative healing are practiced and taught. Same. See #1.

All done?

No.

It took me about ten seconds to answer those questions because I have done it many, many, many, many times before. It frustrates me because I know this and knowing is supposed to be half the battle.

Knowing what I want and knowing the big hurdle doesn’t seem to help. There are two types of knowing: knowing in your heart and knowing in your head. I know in my head.

Sometimes, I think I use that as an excuse.

I guess if you really want to get down to it, I still have tons of self-worth issues. I don’t feel worthy of those goals. I don’t feel like people should listen to me, that my message isn’t that unique.

Part of this journaling process is to process things like this. I never would have admitted this years ago. In fact, go back a few years before that, and I don’t even realize that’s the issue.

There has been lots of growth. I see it, but I still see myself making the same mistakes. For as long as I can remember, I have started many things and finished very few.

Again, this whole journaling process is about making a change in that. Writing a daily journal entry is about building a habit of writing. To what end? Not sure yet. It will work out to be something good.

I am going to start building micro habits to build on and improve everything a tiny bit at a time.

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